stop taking yourself so f*ing seriously

Greetings loved ones. My astral companions.

Happy Leo season. You may have noticed that this is my first ever blog post published on Auronellie.com. If you’re reading this, wow, thank you so much, because there’s so much more where this is coming from. I’ve just been hiding from my potential for far too long.

My reasoning? I thought I had to be taken seriously to be successful at anything.

HAH!!! Seriously? No, like, for reals… SERIOUSLY?!?! WHAT about my personality, values, philosophy, or passions in life scream SERIOUSNESS???? I am not a law student, nor am I studying to become a brain surgeon, or a rocket scientist of any kind. Props, and much respect to these occupations, but does their gravity and seriousness interest me at all? NOT in the slightest.

So let’s be real. Why take myself seriously at all? I’m an artist, for God’s sake. And just like you, I’m sure, I loooove to scroll through social media and watch all manners of crazy independent artists living outlandish lives, so far outside of society’s boundaries I wonder how they even started finding their way… And yet, here I sit, content to wade in the shallows of my “edginess” - if I can even call myself edgy at all.

I still hesitate to pull the trigger on getting hand tattoos… only for the sake of keeping my appearance as professional as possible. Meanwhile, my higher self laughs in my face. I have to remind myself: babes, your bright pink curly hair, wild makeup choices, abundance of facial piercings, and half-sleeved tattooed arms have never stopped you from being employed in the food industry and, much more recently, becoming a lead pastry chef!!!

Why do so many artists (like me and you) have such a huge problem with taking ourselves so seriously? Well if you like lists, I have a surprise for you.

Here are eight (super shitty) beliefs that are keeping you stuck in the seriousness of everything.

1. art is a waste of time.

Ah, yes, the fan favorite. Society’s most-used way to stab you right in the gut. Have you ever wondered how we got to have… oh, I don’t know… museums? Okay. What about architecture? Okay… Food??? BOOKS???? What about hairdressers? Jewelry makers? Clothing designers? Quilts made by your Grandma? Design, like, of literally ANY KIND?!?!

IT’S FUCKIN’ ART, BITCH. You can’t stand here and tell me you don’t know that and you think it’s worthless. That’s just cruel. Artists were once revered as royalty and conduits of the divine, held in such high regard that regular-ass people would send their young children away to study with master artists, and pay handsomely for it too, in time periods when it wasn’t guaranteed they’d ever even see their kids again. What a god damn waste of time. Maybe they just hated their kids! (Jokes… JOKES).

Being an artist is not the same thing as running a business that produces income. I would even argue that you SHOULD NOT create art for the sake of profit. Once you put the pressure on your art to sustain you, it won’t be fun anymore. So give yourself a break and use that time for creativity. I promise you, it’s worth it.

2. You just look weird.

Get over yourself already. Reject mediocrity NOW. If you’ve been sitting on an itch to change your hairstyle, your wardrobe, your appearance (like getting tats or piercings), your day job, your relationship (yeah I said it), THEN SCRATCH THE ITCH. And if you wonder what your life would look like if you never got to change those things… how long do you think it will take before you start to resent yourself? Let me give you a hint: it won’t take long at all. :)

You can’t blame ANYONE ELSE for your lack of inspiration or action in your own life. That, my friend, is some lousy BS, and I suggest you get rid of it right now before it destroys you. Your specific brand of weirdness is exactly who you were when you were a child. Just like every child is an artist, every healthy child will also be… well… insufferably weird. So let your freak flag fly, baby. You don’t have much time left on this earth anyway.

3. Nobody will understand / nobody cares.

First of all, WHY SHOULD THEY??? Nobody, and I mean nobody - not even your closest dearest friend or a loving supportive parent - can see your vision but YOU. And honestly, you’re wasting your breath if you think you have to explain yourself to anyone.

As a wise witch once said, “I keep my visions to myself”. It’s so much easier that way. When you stop trying to get validation from the outside, the easier it gets to listen to your own intuition. And your intuition KNOWS WHAT’S UP!!! It will undoubtedly lead you in the perfect direction where your wildest dreams are your destination.

Stop putting other people’s voices into your soul’s GPS. They don’t know the way!

4. You sound like a narcissist (or straight-up crazy).

Take it from me - an artist who has worked in customer service for her entire career, meek-and-demure’d her way through her first marriage, and landed herself in a psych ward from the stress of it all - SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST GOING TO THINK YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT.

It doesn’t matter what you do. It doesn’t matter what you accomplish, how much good you do for others, how much you study what you say you know, or how small and humble you try to make yourself in social interactions. There will always be some asshole out there who thinks you’re scum of the earth.

PLEASE, for the love of all things holy, do not operate with this fear in your mind. If you’re worried about being a narcissist, chances are you’re not one. (Words from my therapist). Narcissists and crazy people literally don’t even stop to consider there’s anything wrong with them. They think they are perfect. DO YOU?!?! No??? Then congrats, you’re probably good.

5. You’re so selfish.

This one cracks me up. Like, okay bestie, so I’m not a martyr, working my life away every day, hating everything about myself, married and popping out babies for some below-average guy, etc, etc, and you’re losing sleep over ME??? For reals are you okay???? Good luck finding inner peace with that attitude.

I recently watched this TikTok of a lovely content-looking woman about to turn 30. Her most important piece of advice for women in their early-to-mid 20’s was to “learn how to be a bitch early on.” Learning how to say NO. Learning how to set boundaries. To not give away all your time. To always go with your gut. To make yourself a priority. To forge your own path regardless of your current circumstances.

She went on to say that only underdeveloped people will call you a bitch for doing these things. But let’s be real: we ALL have an underdeveloped part of our brain that loves to tell us we suck. The more we practice being bitches, though, the quieter it gets.

6. You sold your soul to the devil / you’re doing the work of the devil.

I literally don’t even know how to elaborate on this one. HAHA!! There’s not much else to say really. Unless you actually DID go and do a little ritual in the middle of the night with your goat-headed friend, rest assured that living a creative life is NOT the same thing. Good Lord. People loooove to sprinkle a little Satanic panic over the name of any artist who gets even a small taste of success. Don’t let that stop you. Honestly it just smells like jealousy to me.

7. But, your resume!!!

Oh no, not your resume, the very thread that holds your entire professional life together!!! Here’s a fun fact: I once attended acting school in Hollywood. During the short time I was enrolled there, I learned something curious about actors’ resumes: you can put literally anything you can do on there. Accents and dialects, writing, juggling, making balloon animals, weird tongue tricks, the harmonica, hula-hooping, whistling, card shuffling, you name it. SO WHAT if you can’t put it on your resume. If it makes you happy, DO IT ANYWAY.

Your day job - and your resume at large - is not a reflection of who you are as a person OR as an artist. Some of us just haven’t been fortunate enough to move up in one industry, or to get jobs at hot-shot companies, or have titles like “Creative Director”, but let’s face it: being a personality hire is the better path to take any day.

Having a “normal job” that pays the bills and leaves you just enough time to indulge in your creative passions in your free time will always be more than enough. And if you can find something fun to do while you’re on the clock, that’s a huge bonus. (Side-eyes the Trader Joe’s sign painters).

8. You’re gonna regret this.

OH REALLY???? Ohhhh I’m scared now. Instant existential dread.

Soooo, you’re saying I’m going to regret going after all my wildest dreams, taking a chance on love, living lavishly and having fun, believing the best is yet to come, and acting as if everything is already working out in my favor???

And I’m definitely going to regret not living on a shelf, not making shitloads of money at the expense of my mental health, not doing life like everyone else, not being a cookie-cutter version of a person that nobody will remember because I didn’t give a shit enough to break out of my box and LIVE??? OH, GOD!!!

Pity. Then I guess I’ll be carrying this guilt to my grave then.

Don’t live your life for anyone else. Truly… what do you have to lose?

Conclusion

It’s not that deep. It’s really not that serious. It’s your life, which you have been so incredibly blessed to be able to live RIGHT NOW. Make the most of it, take the risk, love who you love, make your art, dance your silly little dance, and don’t give a fuck what anyone else has to say about it. The louder your soul sings, the easier it will be to drown out the haters.

And that’s all I gotta say.

Love you,